If at some point we change our minds, it does not mean that we are no longer true to ourselves. It simply means that we notice that people we have trusted are not trustworthy, to accept that a path that we believed was the right one will not lead us to our goal, and above all, with to move forward with more insight and maturity. So we shouldn’t forget that we all have this precious right to change our minds in order to grow.
As strange as it may seem to us, in our everyday life we meet people who are skeptical about thinking or acting differently at a certain point in time. For example, it can surprise a family member, we can offend our partner or worry friends: Why do you suddenly like “green” when you previously raved about “blue”?
“Everyone thinks about changing the world, but nobody thinks about changing themselves.”
Basically, that’s exactly how it is. Now we prefer the color green or red because we noticed that it suits us better. In addition, we have now discovered that there are tones that appeal to us much more, that there are tastes that inspire our senses, and smells, moments and situations that are more motivating and enriching than the ones we have preferred so far.
Changing our minds at any given moment is not sacrilege, nor does it make us fickle or moody people. In addition, people who are able to open their minds, who are more receptive to new stimuli, and who are also more open to change, have a personality profile that favors personal growth enormously.
People with an open mind are not afraid to change their minds
People who change their mind quickly and for no reason arouse suspicion in us. This fact is obvious, because it is not easy to live with someone who tells us one thing today and another later, who vehemently defends a number of values today and has nothing left for them tomorrow and who advocates completely opposite ideals.
We are not talking about a specific behavior here. We are particularly referring to the skill we should all train: focusing on change in order to advance human development. Being able to change one’s mind about a topic, behavior, or person is often the path that leads us to greatest progress. It is also our only way to adopt different points of view and more useful attitudes.
In the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology , social psychologists Ian Handley and Dolores Albarracín published an interesting study a few years ago on our resistance to changing attitudes. According to this research , people with healthy self-esteem who are comfortable with their own skin have more receptive minds and are much more open to change. Plus, at some point, they’re not afraid to change their minds and clarify why they’re doing it.
This conclusion is related to what other psychologists, such as Melissa Finucane and Paul Slovic, refer to as “affect heuristics.” They are part of those personality profiles with a more flexible and open attitude towards life when it comes to experiences. They usually make their decisions on the basis of “mental shortcuts” derived directly from their feelings, or rather, based on their instincts.
With regard to their self-knowledge, they are so competent that they have a kind of detector, an inner voice, that can tell them when they no longer agree with certain things or when certain ideals, societies or concepts of the Should belong in the past because they distract them, make them dissatisfied or unhappy.
On the other hand, people who are hesitant to change their minds or attitudes use more complex but less emotional heuristics. Only in this way can they build walls to refute anything that challenges their preconceived ideas.
“If I have learned anything in life, it is not to waste time trying to change the way my fellow human beings are.”
Carmen Martín Gaite
You have the right to change your mind
You have the right to change your mind and stop admiring someone without feeling bad about it. You have the right to now enjoy this discipline, this hobby or this type of knowledge that you previously criticized because you did not dare to study it more closely.
Sometimes changing one’s mind means growing, enabling ourselves to open new doors after closing others behind us to move forward with more knowledge and confidence. And there is nothing wrong with that, and it in no way makes us worse people, on the contrary.
With each of these steps we are accompanied by something that we should not ignore. If you change your mind about something or someone, you do so because you have thought about it beforehand. Because he has given himself access to the affect heuristics mentioned earlier in order to remember what his being is and what his instincts and emotional needs tell him. Therefore, no one should frivolously make changes or change their minds on a whim. It must be done with certainty, with the certainty and certainty that there are things that should no longer be defended, as there are better and more enriching options.
We should think about it and stop being so afraid of change, be it small or large.