Whoever Is The Source Of Your Anger Has Power Over You

Who is the source of your anger has power over you

“Whoever is the source of your anger has power over you.”

If you think about it carefully, there is some truth to it, right? When a situation does not go the way we want it to, or when someone does not react according to our ideas, we dislike someone’s behavior or words, we usually express that displeasure with the following expressions: “You make me angry!” – “You hurt me with it!” – “You piss me off!”

But if we think about it more closely, there is a message behind these words that says: “You are to blame for how I feel now.” – “You are responsible for my reacting now.” – “You hurt me. “In  short: ” It’s your fault that I feel bad. “


If someone annoys us, it happens for the simple reason that we have allowed them to. Because in truth, in a situation that makes us feel angry, something inside of us screams: “What you think about me is more important than what I think about myself.”   Do you recognize yourself in this?

In such a situation we make our feelings dependent on others, i.e. on external circumstances, and therefore our emotional state adapts accordingly.

Instead of blaming ourselves for our emotions and feelings and going inside ourselves, it seems easier for us to put that burden on someone else’s shoulders. Because actually nobody can create anger in us without our knowledge, right?

And , of course, it is true that all of this burden of feeling angry is complicated and difficult to move, and even more so when we are used to blaming others. It is of course easier to accuse someone of being responsible for our anger than to say, “I am responsible for my anger.”   But if we act like this, we will never find ourselves.

Take responsibility

This happens for the simple reason that every now and then we are guided by our ego, which generally serves us to find out what we own, do and how we value ourselves.

Once we have removed and separated ourselves from our selfishness, we are able to take on more responsibility for our own thoughts and actions as well as for our feelings. And no one can harm us in any way, because then we become aware that the person we really are is worth much more than any material thing, deed or opinion of others.

So we can help ourselves by imagining that if someone offends us or does something we dislike, it is like a gift. If we don’t accept it, the gift still stays with the other person. But if we accept it, we own it. At the end of the day, the decision is up to us.

Accordingly, insults, provocations or even actions by our fellow human beings are like gifts, and it is we who decide whether or not to accept them. Therefore, we cannot blame anyone for our decision, we can only hold ourselves responsible for our actions, our choices.

We must also keep in mind that our bad experiences may also have been caused by our annoyance, as situations turned out differently from what we had previously imagined.

Yes No

We cannot control circumstances or people, but we can control our response to them. Because of this, we cannot change what someone says to us or does to us in any way. But we can of course change our attitudes about how we face life.

Responsibility is scary, but it allows us to be masters of our lives.

Being able to interpret our emotions and feelings and taking them into our own hands gives us the freedom to get to know each other and to determine our own attitude to life.

“To recognize that I myself am the one who chooses and decides what value an experience has for me is something that brings enrichment but also fear.”

Carl Rogers

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