Whenever I hear your name, there is only one word in my soul: love. A word that I don’t use for every person to describe my feelings. It’s true: I can’t tell you that I love you, that I long for you. To love and to be loved are different things.
Even though my soul is filled with light, when I think about it, I can’t tell you that I miss you. I thought you were still there and waiting for me like you once did.
The number of stars in the sky is fewer than the number of times I wanted to die to kiss you, hug you, and feel by my side. And now I can’t stop thinking that you are out with other people.
“We learn to love not when we find a person perfect, but when we are able to perceive an imperfect person as perfect.”
Whenever I kiss other lips, your scent intoxicates me anew
Could it be that I need you I can’t answer that question yet. All I know is that whenever we are together, I am the happiest person in the universe. Time is running out and yet I still have to think about you. Thinking that you could call, or I think of your beautiful smile and your sweet look when you look at me.
And every time I kiss other lips, your scent still intoxicates me, I remember your gestures, your words and even your silence …
I am not lying when I say that you will be a part of me forever and now. You represent a part of my being, because you showed me the most beautiful things in life. The place where heaven and earth unite to celebrate the most beautiful part of humanity: eternal memory.
I often wondered whether …
I wonder if what we had was true love. And it becomes more and more clear to me that it was never true love. It was something that words cannot describe and only brave people can name. And if I had to describe my feelings for you, I would be lying if I said I don’t care.
I wouldn’t be honest with you if I told you not to think about your kisses and how you gently touch my hair every night. I’ve deleted your phone number many times to forget about you and move on. But that didn’t work for me, because I also unwantedly constantly reminded myself of everything that connects me to your world, to what was once between our hearts.
Love arises every day
The truth is that everything that has to do with you just “happens”. It happens and is real because love arises every day, this applies to today as well as to last year and our entire lifetime. Because the warmest feelings come to the surface and express themselves, they have truth and consistency in my reality.
Is it true that my feelings, how you perceive them, are unclear because they come and go like shooting stars in the sky? Are you perhaps full of doubts and expectations and illusions about love that are too high?
I blame her for immaturity and my lack of experience of not knowing what I wanted, and even not being able to value you the way you deserved it. But what is true and what makes me see you in my lonely eternity, where each of my tears is shed for you and your heart?
I wouldn’t lie if I said my soul remembers everything I once lost because I wasn’t perfect. I can’t help but not only love you, I’m in love with you. Because to be in love means to surrender, to love alone is only longing for the heart of a distant person.