To Accept The Mother Means To Accept Life

It is not always easy to accept the mother. Even so, it is worth starting the process because it ultimately leads to personal wellbeing.
To accept the mother is to accept life

The accepting own mother, is one of the most important processes in life. Sometimes the bond with her is sane and easy, but in other cases it is broken or hindered by various circumstances, which often complicate matters.

Why is it important to accept the mother? Our mother is the physical, emotional and social root, even when she is not physically present.

The accepting mother is thus part of the process to accept themselves. When this bond is not satisfied, it often turns into a feeling of lack, uprooting, abandonment, anger, or sadness that accompanies life as a backdrop. So it’s important to work on this aspect.

The bond with the mother

The mother leaves an indelible mark on everyone’s life. At the beginning we are all part of our mother, who not only gives us life, but also the first feelings, her genes and many other gifts with us on the way. We all need a mother or a human to take her place.

This implies and establishes a bond that is not only very close, but also crucial. The first emotional and intellectual experiences shape our psyche. To a large extent we are the work of the person who gives us the light of life or who takes care of us in the first years of life.

To accept the mother is to accept life

Accepting the mother is not always easy

A baby or toddler accepts his mother for who she is. It loves you and needs you. The psychoanalyst Judith Viorst mentions in her book “ Necessary Losses” the terrible case of a three-year-old boy who was doused with alcohol by his own mother and burned.

In the orphanage the child kept calling for his mother and longing for her. She had done him terrible and irreparable harm, and yet he found her absence the worst of all evils.

A caring mother  creates a spontaneous sense of acceptance and love. This also creates a feeling of trust in life and the world; a certain feeling that everything will be fine and that love is a real and wonderful feeling, the foundation of life.

An absent or harmful mother creates conflicting feelings. In some way, the child is always attracted to the mother, even if he is hurt by her absence or rejection. In adulthood, it may learn to live without or in spite of her. Affected people have to try to accept their mother, which is not always easy.

Accepting the mother is not always easy

How can one learn to accept the mother?

Accepting the mother doesn’t necessarily mean having a good relationship with her. There are situations when that is impossible. However, it is necessary to heal this bond emotionally in order to avoid psychological ballast and to be capable of love and happiness.

Accepting the mother helps heal yourself. The following recommendations can be helpful:

  • Understand. Trying to understand mother can be very healing. Difficult circumstances may explain your behavior. Maybe she had no other option, suffered from a disorder herself …
  • Give up trying to change them. Nobody chooses their mother. She is what she is. There’s no point in judging her for her mistakes or asking her to be someone else. The effort is in vain.
  • Mark the necessary distance. It is easier to accept your mother when you keep a reasonable distance from her. There is no point in insisting on a relationship that has never existed before.
  • Focus on yourself. You may still suffer from childhood wounds. In this case, you have to learn to seek your own happiness and accept yourself.

It is not easy to accept the mother when the attachment has been very problematic. But it is a step forward in your own development. Some people need psychological help, for others it is enough to set boundaries and walk the path of forgiveness.

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