The term “hyperactivity” has become an often used word. Many parents think that their children have this disorder and that they have hyperactive children. I respect both defenders and defamers of the disorder’s existence, but it seems like there aren’t enough children with the disease to warrant the multitude of diagnoses. So we are talking about a disorder that is too often diagnosed without a proper basis.
There are many, too many parents who visit a psychologist, child psychiatrist, or neurologist to get confirmation of their suspicions. Your suspicion that your child is hyperactive. Often this suspicion is not confirmed and parents leave one of the said practices even more frustrated than they entered them. Then they go to the nearest practice until they finally get the confirmation. And other times, hyperactivity is actually diagnosed, but the diagnosis is weak.
At a first appointment, after analyzing the child’s behavior problems, this and the family dynamics are assessed. If necessary, family therapy is suggested to improve family dynamics and the child’s behaviors.
Hyperactive Children or Hyperpassive Parents?
A few days ago I read something on the internet called “Consciousness Content ” that said, “There are more hyperpassive parents than hyperactive children.” I started pondering and decided to write an article on the subject. I found that there were interesting approaches that I would like to share with you.
It is well known how many false ADD or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) diagnoses there are in children who behave in class, do not do their chores, are too fidgety, restless, etc. In addition, they nag more than other children, which is dismissed as a symptom of the disease and leads parents or teachers to believe that these children, who cannot meet their expectations, have a problem or a mental disorder.
Parents of such children seek out several psychologists and specialists with the hope of diagnosing their child as a hyperactive child in order to calm them down, and in the worst case with the help of medication. And this is how parents act “hyperpassively”.
Too busy or worried parents
Of course, mothers and fathers don’t spend the whole day in front of the television or on their cell phones. In addition to their housework, many have more than one job outside of their own four walls. They don’t have a minute to themselves in everyday life, are stressed out day in and day out, run from one appointment to another, are too busy (and so are their children) and arrive home late and exhausted in the evening. They spend little time with their children and in that little time they behave passively.
Parents and children have so little energy when they come home that they no longer feel like playing on the street, cooking together; there is simply no time to play hide and seek in the house, fool around in bed together, build towers out of blocks, sing or dance, laugh together, make up stories with dolls or cuddly toys, tell stories, etc.
Technology and flickering screens have taken over that shared time. So children have no chance to replenish energy resources and they even suffer from anxiety, stress or are overly sad, bored or tired. And over time, their parents begin to worry about these symptoms.
“You don’t often find parents of really happy children in bars.”
More time with our children strengthens the bond
I am absolutely convinced that it is worth the joy, despite the stressed nerves, to spend time with our children to play and at least be there during their childhood. Therefore, depending on their age and personal needs, it is necessary to strive to find other ways to devote time to them. It’s never too late to change that.
“Every day of our life we keep memories in our children’s minds.”
Because there are neither so many hyperactive children, nor children with behavioral problems, but also too many hyperpassive parents who do not really take on parental responsibility. While they may do so, it seems like they don’t understand what it takes, how much energy it takes to spend time with your children and attend to their needs.
But for all the time invested, you get a feeling of satisfaction, moments of happiness and a strengthened parent-child bond, which is undoubtedly the basis of positive psycho-emotional development. If something is not going as we imagine it at home, or if we suspect our child may have a problem, now is the time to rethink and repair the bond with our child.
Images courtesy of JrCasas