Philophobia – The Fear Of Love

Philophobia - the fear of love

Fall in love without asking yourself for permission. Let go of your fears. Do you know what you’re missing out on? Do you know that fear is causing you to let some of the most wonderful moments and phases of your life escape? Fear of love can be like slavery.

Say, “Enough,”  and fall in love regardless of the consequences. Do not be afraid to love. Be brave, take the risk. You can’t turn back time and do things all over again. You may get a second chance in another body, in another soul, maybe in other ways, but it will never be like it is now. Make your heart beat powerfully.

Let love refuel you like a sea breeze or the bright sun. Laugh, bounce, be happy. Be happy with the love knocking on your door and saying “Hello!” says. Do not close the door to your heart and soul. What are you so afraid of? To lose it? Nothing is certain in this life but death. Accept that you will experience losses over and over again, including the loss of love. But remember, you keep living your life all the time.

Understand the fear of love

“What is happening with me? Why does love scare me so much? I can’t stop it, but as soon as I realize I’m falling in love, I run away. I’ll end the relationship and then I’ll be calm again. I panic, which manifests itself in the form of dizziness, nausea and tremors. I can not stand.”

Maybe you have philophobia or the fear of falling in love. When you’re about to get into a relationship, you panic and end it very quickly. Sometimes you realize what is happening, other times you find excuses or a thousand and one reasons to justify your decision.



As soon as a philophobe begins to fall in love, he feels a fear that holds him back. Who likes it when the heart beats too fast? Who likes to sweat, feel dizzy, or in short, feel vulnerable? It is a normal reaction for that person to get out of this awkward situation as quickly as possible.

It seems that the fear of love stems from experiences of past relationships that left painful and sorrowful scars. If they find that the same thing can happen to them all over again, or if they start to feel vulnerable, run away from this relationship as quickly as possible to protect themselves from possible further disappointment.

“How much we lose for fear of losing.”

Paulo Coelho

Conquering the fear of love

Phobias can be cured and philophobia is no exception. You only have to accept what is happening to you, you have to be motivated, want to heal your condition and seek help from a specialist. There are a few therapies that can cure phobias, for example:

  • This therapy helps you to recognize the mental processes that are causing you fear. You will understand your fears and worries and learn how to replace your thoughts with more positive ones.
  • In this therapy the person is confronted with those things that cause them to panic, whether that is love or something else.
  • Hypnosis can help eliminate negative associations. It involves uncovering psychological trauma under an induced state. In this state, the patient is asked by the therapist to leave his fears.
  • This controversially discussed therapy is combined with hypnosis. It is believed that our thoughts are shaped by words, which ultimately create a program in our brain. Patients learn about the programs written by themselves, their parents, their professors, etc., and learn how they can change them.

“I am not as afraid of anything as fear itself.”

Michel Eyquem de Montaigne


You can also try to face your fear of love yourself. To do that, you need to commit to the process of change and be aware that you will keep trying to find excuses. You can also try the following:

  • Don’t get too immersed in the subject. Sometimes we imagine consequences and concerns worse than they will actually occur in reality. Pay more attention to your generalization habit and examine what is happening to you.
  • Read about Philophobia. Informing yourself of what is happening to you and identifying the characteristics of philophobia will help you understand yourself better. This will give you the skills and strategies you need to face your fear.
  • Understand why this is happening to you.
  • Use your emotional intelligence. Understanding and managing your emotions, as well as understanding the emotions of other people, will help you to better deal with your feelings and relationships with others.
  • Think about the worst that can happen if you lose that person: “If I fall in love and lose this person, what’s the worst that can happen to me?”   Life will go on. Thoughts like these will help you fight philophobia.
  • Talk to your partner about it. Tell him without fear or shame. This will help him understand many of your reactions so far. Talking to him about your fears allows him to understand you and enables him to help you.

So why not give it a try and stop being so scared of love? Can’t you see what you’re losing because of it? Your fears are only in your head, do not expose yourself to them. If you don’t face your life, you won’t be able to savor or enjoy it. As you overcome your fear of love, your self-esteem will grow and you will be able to build healthier relationships with other people.

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