Let’s talk about spoiled children, or rather, children who show spoiled behavior. There are two variables that play an important role in the development of this behavior: on the one hand, the temperament of each child and genetic weight, and on the other hand, the upbringing. If there is a lack of boundaries or coherence, typical behavior patterns arise in many cases.
The key? Learning to set boundaries and, most importantly, strengthen appropriate behavior that leads away from unjustified outbursts of anger in order to get what they want. In this article, we’ll talk about 4 characteristics of these children, possible causes of their behavior, and how you can learn to limit them.
Pampered children: 4 characteristics
Spoiled children try to get their own way
They are able to do whatever they can to get what they want. There are no prohibited or prohibited behaviors for spoiled children. Why? They have no tolerance for frustration or limits. They want things to be done their own way, at the times they set and with the results they expect.
This is very behavioral, meaning that their actions are not the product of reflective thinking (especially when they are young). This goes like this: “I can’t get the amp so I stop being good”.
They have a low tolerance for frustration
As mentioned earlier, spoiled children have a low tolerance for frustration. They are used to reality being what they want, no matter what price others have to pay for it.
So these are children who have been unable to develop strategies to endure frustration because they have had few opportunities to face it.
Spoiled children are disobedient
Another outstanding trait of these children is disobedience. They ignore parental demands and, in short, go their own way. This is closely related to the lack of boundaries.
If there are no boundaries, children will not obey parental orders because they have never had to “behave” or adhere to certain guidelines.
They use tantrums to get what they want
When spoiled children are dying to have something, they use tantrums to get their parents’ attention and achieve their desires.
This in turn means that they do not develop negotiating skills or empathy. Therefore, it is difficult for them to share things with others or to understand others. They only focus on their own behavior and needs.
Causes of spoiled children
As mentioned at the beginning, genetics (temperament) and the environment influence the development of spoiled children. The parental style of upbringing is essential. Common mistakes in upbringing are:
- Set no limits.
- Giving in to tantrums or bad behavior.
- Don’t make rules at home.
- Reinforce inappropriate behavior.
- No reinforcement of the right behavior.
- Contradictory behavior (especially with respect to boundaries).
Learn to set limits
The following strategies can help you:
Limits and agreements
Explain to your child the boundaries they must adhere to in a clear, precise and age-appropriate manner. You can also let them have a say in certain things so that they can think about limits for themselves. However, the point is not to give in to the child’s demands, but rather to give him a voice so that, if possible, mutual agreements can be reached. This is especially important in older children. You should feel that you are part of the decision-making process.
The goal is to negotiate with the child up to a certain limit. These limits must then be strictly adhered to.
If you prohibit certain behaviors, you need alternatives. For example: “You are not allowed to play on the kitchen floor, but you can go into the garden, the living room or your room.”
Children need room to maneuver in order to develop as independent beings; they need to know what not to do, but above all what to do.
Reinforce appropriate behavior
Reinforcing positive behavior patterns usually produces excellent results. This increases the likelihood that this behavior will be repeated. This is an important learning experience for your child.
We must not forget that children are constantly evolving. Practically everything influences them, so upbringing and being a role model are essential if you want to prevent the typical behavior of a spoiled child. Set boundaries for your child that allow them to respect themselves and their environment.