Manipulation Is Not Love

Manipulation is not love

When we say things like, “If you ‘re not jealous, it’s not real love,” “If he really loves me, he doesn’t have to spend time with anyone else,”   and , “Love is guessing what he is wants and needs others ”,   we find ourselves in humiliating situations in order to maintain a romantic bond that is usually not sincere.

Love is one of the strongest feelings in the world and each person adds their own personal touch and sometimes ideas that do not necessarily correspond to reality. Nevertheless, like almost everything else in life, love has to be learned. And sometimes we learn it the wrong way. The romantic and unrealistic notion of love that is common these days does little to help us in our interpersonal relationships. The values ​​that shape healthy relationships are the exact opposite of passionate all-or-nothing love.

The majority of relationship problems are based on unrealistic expectations of the relationship and of the partner. These misconceptions about passionate love can damage a relationship even when the partners are actually a good match.

Disturbing emotions and toxic relationships have been identified as risk factors for disease.

Daniel Goleman

Features of manipulation

Manipulation occurs when one person controls the other person’s behavior. To do this, she employs strategies that steal or condition the person’s judgment. Mental manipulation could be described as a special form of selfishness.

Manipulators often shamelessly exploit their partners for the narcissistic goal of gaining more power or getting what they want. They also resort to lies, seduction, and coercion through threats and violence to destabilize their victims. Manipulative people construct situations that direct another person’s behavior for their own benefit. If they are really good at manipulating, the victim will not even be aware that they are being played with.

Most often, people with low self-esteem, feelings of guilt, and inferiority complexes are the victims of manipulation by their partner. The external factors that affect how successfully someone can be manipulated include the loss of a loved one, a breakup, divorce, or the loss of a job.

Love doesn’t manipulate.

How to recognize a manipulative person

Knowing how to spot a manipulator will save you a lot of trouble in everyday life. If your partner can’t take no for an answer, or if you notice that they are acting differently than usual or even completely losing control if you do not give in to their attempts to convince, this is a sign that they will not tolerate their influence is diminished to you.

People who manipulate their partners are too eager to show their skills and strength and are unlikely to be shy. They like to blame others when they don’t get what they want. They don’t care what they have to offer or whether they can help other people. Instead, they always focus on themselves and don’t seem to know the word reciprocity.

They are always talking about themselves and if they ever ask how you are or if you need anything, it is not really interested. You will also find that they will not say thank you, but only ask more and more when you grant their wishes. These people are usually enormously insecure about themselves, but try to portray themselves as exactly the opposite and adopt selfish and dominant behaviors to hide their fears.

The first step in rectifying a manipulative situation is to become aware that one is being manipulated. Finding that you are being manipulated by a loved one or even being a puppet for them can be emotionally upsetting.

There are then several ways to address this problem. One of these is to leave your partner if there is no chance they will change their behavior. Another option is to teach him or her to ask for things directly instead of trying to indirectly get you to take his point without actually disclosing anything about himself or expressing his true feelings. Interestingly, people who seek control over other people cannot control themselves.

Images courtesy of Catrin Welz-Stein

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