In The Face Of Disappointment And Calamity, Rely On Time And Shoes

In the face of disappointment and calamity, rely on time and shoes

There is no suffering that time and a pair of comfortable shoes cannot counteract. It always takes time and shoes, because we do not overcome injustice, storms and defeats by crawling deeper into the black hole in which we initially sought protection. Time alone does not turn bitterness and disappointment into a sweet win. To do this, we have to move, turn pages, close chapters and bring distance between ourselves and calamity by walking in those shoes that are named for self-love.

William Gibson, a well-known science fiction writer, once said that time always moves in one direction, namely forward, while we sad people are often trapped in our memories, in that past when nothing new will happen in which the scent of apathy can be smelled, the expiration date of which has long passed. Instead of new opportunities, we stay there, enveloped in the shadows of unused opportunities.

“The strongest of all warriors are time and patience.”

We tend to get caught in our own webs when we stumble upon a stone fate put in our way or when we experience disappointment. And in this network our motivation, our desire for a new beginning and our strength to get up again despite the adversity are lost. Because we are required to continue functioning, we concentrate our energies on walking like robots through the world instead of working on it and liberating from this web. It does not help us very much when someone tells us that “time heals all wounds” , because in fact it only causes the joints of the robot to rust.

It’s easier said than done to look ahead. Anyone who feels the pain of an injury can only walk slowly. Those who are pushed down by the weight of anger, who anchor the roots of bitterness in place and who can no longer perceive their surroundings through the veil of resentment, will hardly have moved in a year. We must always remember, therefore , that time alone does not heal wounds, but that the efforts we make during this time can do so.

Woman hugs a tiger

Chronos, Kairos and Aion – the gods of time

When a person faces difficulties, be it because they experienced a loss or because an obstacle has arisen in their life path that they were not prepared for, then they usually assume that their own grieving process is causing the associated pain will alleviate. This grieving process should n’t take more than three months. The majority of people expect to have no more doubts after completing this phase and to be able to concentrate fully on the positive in life again.

But this formula doesn’t always work. Anyone who waits for a god of time to visit him to free him from all his painful emotions in an act of altruism is wrong. And there are even several gods of time! On the one hand there is Chronos, the most famous of them. It stands for the time that goes by, which we measure with clocks and calendars, which first turns the future into the present and then into the past in an eternal rhythm. In the past, when there were no clocks, the time of the god Chronos was read from the course of the stars. In contrast to this, Aion stands for the time of life, for the time that we stay on earth and that can be divided into different phases. However, the most interesting of all the gods of time for the psychologist is Kairos.

Kairos is a young god, and it doesn’t hurt even for the atheists among us to dwell a little on what he represents if they want to invest in their personal growth. We have not put Kairos in the middle for nothing, between Chronos and Aion: He represents the moment in which an opportunity can be seized, the here and now. Kairos invites us to live our lives because of and in spite of all our virtues, defects, abilities, mistakes and values. We can never be a different person, but we are never the same as we were yesterday. We need to evolve and do well to learn from what we stumble upon on our way through life.

Girl flies through the night on an owl

Therefore it is never wrong not to measure the passage of time with the clock, but in an integrated, human, even therapeutic way. We need to understand that Chronos, Kairos and Aion go hand in hand. Time goes by inexorably and with it there will always be new opportunities to heal, learn and grow. If an opportunity arises, we should understand how to take it.

My shoes take me where my mind wants to go

If we are honest with ourselves, then we already know that we have to take action if we are to overcome a grief process or some other difficult time. It takes an attentive look ahead and the will to move forward in order to be able to grow and bloom even under adverse circumstances: like the flowers that turn the Atacama Desert, the driest desert in the world, into a sea of ​​colors every few years.

“Time changes everything, except that something in us that is always surprised by the change.”

Thomas Hardy

And throughout this process, we should always be clear about where our shoes are. Those shoes with which we can approach the sea of ​​colors, or any other goal that we have set ourselves. Only by putting one foot in front of the other can we escape our own fear and bitterness. They are so important to us to overcome difficult times, like water in the desert. They are resistant because they are crafted as self-love, dignity and new hope. They fit our feet like a glove and help us when we have to jump over obstacles, cross bridges, climb mountains and walk over stony paths.

Feet between butterflies

Finally, we would like to give you one more tip: Do not hesitate to understand time as the engine of change, as that circumstance that gives you the energy to always walk with your head held high. Your shoes, your attitude and your smile – they don’t have an expiration date and they get you where you deserve to be. To where the most beautiful flowers bloom.

Images courtesy of Lucy Campbell

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