Children learn to apologize when they hear their parents say, “I’m sorry.” But not all parents are able to ask forgiveness of their own children when a situation calls for it, when circumstances call for it. We often forget that this very foundation creates the best, happiest, most respectful bonds.
What is neglected in many families is communication. Often times we are not clear about how many hidden codes and unwritten rules we follow, the psychological influence we have through our way of communicating, through what we do and say, and even more through what we do not say .
When you make mistakes, show that you are humble and can say, “I’m sorry, I was wrong,” and have the courage to say that you will fix it.
Does the way in which we interact determine whether there is harmony in our family environment or, conversely, unhappiness? We should definitely think about this question. No matter what the dynamic, the fact is that we must all make mistakes and apologize. Knowing when to say “I’m sorry” is also evidence of emotional intelligence.
This dynamic, this healthy and bonding practice, is also an important part of the upbringing of our children. In this way, we teach children a value system through which they value people as a being, see them as fallible but still worthy, to ask for forgiveness so that they can improve their behavior and protect their bonds.
“I’m sorry” : essential words for a functioning coexistence
We all make mistakes, that is a fact, and even today there is no one who comes into this world and is immune to mistakes, errors or misunderstandings. Thus, nobody is immune from making mistakes in their upbringing, behaving inappropriately, not having the right point of view or neglecting something or someone. The crux of the matter is not how many mistakes we make about our children, but how we deal with these situations in retrospect.
Finding a mistake, taking responsibility for it, and saying “I’m sorry” to a child are also part of parenting. Our adult attitudes are not always accessible to or favor such gestures, as if parents are afraid of breaking the myth of infallibility in front of their children. Because if we keep asking our children to learn to apologize, shouldn’t we do the same ourselves, shouldn’t we? Even if it comes with the risk of losing authority and being discredited.
At least that’s how many mothers and fathers assume: the father who keeps his children happy with unbelievable promises that he later fails to keep; the mother who yells at her child about some nonsensical little thing because at that moment she is unable to cope with the fear that she has about her job but cannot leave her at work.
Saying, “I’m sorry” is essential to any coexistence and is the right way to go when a problem arises for which we as adults are responsible. Few actions show so much empathy and make it clear to others what the rules of living together are. Rules that young and old must follow for the benefit of all.
Learning to be a family
Many of us say “I’m sorry” very often about trivial things every day . We apologize if we bump into someone, if we forget to offer someone else a seat on the bus, or to bring a classmate or work colleague with this book they asked us to do last week. Of course it is important to put this art into practice in the small situations of everyday life, but at the same time it is also fundamental to do it with the people who are closest to us and whom we love most.
Because we don’t see these people every day or because they are who they are, namely partners, children, parents, siblings, we simply assume that they will always forgive us. But love, affection and care have to be taken care of and worked on. Learning to say, “I’m sorry,” means being a family, creating an environment for the happiest children to grow up in, surrounded by the right values.
Below we would like to take a look at the greatest benefits that result from this.
Asking forgiveness from our children: a step that has great benefits
- Saying “I’m sorry” to our children helps us be more focused in our everyday lives. In our everyday stresses, we can live more in the present and better meet the urgent needs of our children when we are aware that we are also making mistakes.
- It is also good to understand the following: Asking a child for forgiveness is not a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it shows maturity and a sense of responsibility.
- Acknowledging the mistakes made with our children also helps to prevent a situation from getting worse and becoming suspicious of us.
- In relationships where we adults are able to apologize and ask forgiveness from our children, both sides learn something valuable. As adults, we are not infallible and we make mistakes, it’s in our DNA. When we understand this, we can grow as humans.
Something that any family must undoubtedly understand – if they are to grow in harmony and happily with one another – is the fact that being able to apologize is a psychological tool that is good for all. We should apologize without fear or reluctance, because it gives us an invaluable opportunity, and that is to understand each other better.