When we are forced to deal with complicated situations, we learn to build emotional distance, to cope with our discomfort, and to think before we make up our minds. As with everything, it takes time and experience to learn. A lot of experience.
So we could say that emotional distance is an unwritten code that lets us see and feel things differently as we take our time until emotions like anger lose their power and feelings emerge that understand us better let what we think in reality and how we want to act.
This means that this helps us to better control our emotions and thus to become more straightforward in our opinions and actions on a certain topic, for example when it comes to behavior towards a certain person.
What do we need to build emotional distance?
So how can we build emotional distance? There is no magic and universal recipe here, because it depends on many personal factors as well as on the circumstances and relationships.
There are people who we carry so deeply that it is without a doubt one of the most difficult tasks to distance oneself from the emotions we feel when we are with them, but which is necessary when we do the puzzle again want to put together that lets us understand what is happening.
The inner compass, a great help in achieving practical emotional distance
Once we have managed to build emotional distance from something that has happened, then we will be able to see this inner compass that gives us a feeling for what is good and what is bad. We are often right with this intuition, assuming that it is based on our feelings, which are much more mature than our emotional outbursts.
Then the choices we make about others and about what happened will be far more accurate and more in line with what we think and feel. Here we will know what deserves our attention and what we want to ignore in order to feel better and not suffer so much from what we cannot control.
In summary, it is very important to say that we build an emotional distance in situations that are complicated or very emotionally charged. In this way we achieve that the emotions, which are only temporarily flare-up, do not paralyze us and that in the end we do not regret having acted in one way or another.
Images courtesy of Claudia Tremblay