There is one type of ego that neither accepts a truce nor pauses: it is the ego that suffers because it is not on par with the world, and it complains because it is not always right. We should note, however, that there is no greater enslavement for a person than the power that his ego has over him. Because being happy has to do with the soul and whoever is able to exchange his ego for humility can reconnect with the world and that with the help of his heart.
This is undoubtedly a highly complex and curious psychological construct in which a certain amount of suffering also plays a role. For example, it is interesting to see how the ego tries to make a place for itself by comparing itself to its fellow human beings. If we can adapt to this model, we will be admired. But if we ignore it, we will definitely be a target for attack and disregard.
When your ego doesn’t rest, send it off to buy humility because that’s the only way you will discover your best side.
I am convinced that you also know someone with such behavior and you will even realize that in some moments you act with a certain overdose of your ego. A Chinese saying goes: “It is more difficult to change the direction of flow of a river than it is to change the character of a person.”
We can’t really talk enough about this topic, but we should at least keep it in mind and think about it when it becomes noticeable.
The ego and the egocentric self
Eckhart Tolle is a writer who is known for delighting his many readers with his book series Jetzt! to delight. In his work, he identifies the most common internal sources of suffering that make it impossible for us to connect with our surroundings in order to be happy. In books like A New Earth , he speaks of a term as interesting as it is useful: the egocentric self. It is undoubtedly one of the most complex sources of personal suffering.
For mad people, people who are characterized by an egocentric self are besieged by their own minds. There is a kind of obsession with one’s own thoughts, judgment, values, and feelings, and it even goes so far that these people live exclusively their own lives. Besides this exclusive and personal horizon there is nothing else.
The egocentric self persists, keeps popping up, creating a kind of incredibly destructive psychic energy. We must not forget that this personality type wants to differentiate itself from other egos at the same time and ignore them, which gradually becomes a useless and frustrating struggle, because a “battle” between egos only has psychological suffering as a consequence.
How can we silence the ego?
A person in whose mind the voice of the ego continually speaks to him, always wants to change others without trying to change himself. All of this triggers frustration. Chances are, you might even know someone who complains that “relationships are very difficult” without realizing that they are causing the problem and not others.
“You cut your hair and change your hairstyle, but you never think about changing your ego.”
Eckhart Tolle himself explains that he too had to go through this transformation: to switch off his ego, to say goodbye to the thought “the more I have, the more I am” and also to this inner storm that made it impossible for him to get on with life to be in harmony and to live together with others in an honest and humble way.
Despite the fact that this is not an easy task, it can be done. For this reason, I would like to invite you to consider the following pieces of advice that will teach you how to get along better with a self-centered person, as well as how to say goodbye to some of the related behaviors that we all display at times place.
Tips to distance ourselves from our ego
One of the most famous quotes from the controversial Donald Trump is, “Show me a person with no ego and I’ll show you a no-nonsense.” Of course, the ego that the US presidential candidate is talking about is not exactly the ego we are focusing on in this one Refer to article. Therefore:
- It is best not to react to these behaviors in order to defend ourselves against these useless egos that are crying out inside us for attention. Ignoring something or someone is a way of answering wisely and it also frustrates whoever wants to be the center of attention.
- Another technique to “turn the ego off” is to find inner calm and turn the volume control of our thoughts to zero. The ego is always looking for something: to enrich itself in something or someone in order to feel perfect, to challenge someone more superior in order to get right, etc.
- The source of our ego-induced suffering will come to an end if we focus on the here and now for a more pleasant and humble outcome to the situation. As the saying goes: “You only understand the meaning of life when you don’t allow yourself to be suppressed by your ego in order to be able to help others.”
- When making a decision, the head should be used, for example when choosing. As a rule, the claim to help others should take precedence over the gratification of the ego.
When we treat others compassionately and understand that “being” does not mean “owning” or that “you are no longer when you have more”, we are instantly relieved of a great burden. It is then that we leave the egocentric self behind to reveal our precious emotional selves.