It is impossible to completely avoid conflict in a relationship. At the end of the day, both partners are two very different individuals. But the problem isn’t that you’re arguing with your significant other. The problem is, a lot of people don’t know how to deal with arguments. Read on to learn why knowing how to get through an argument with your partner is important.
Relationships begin with the infatuation phase. During this phase everything is fine, we are happy and absolutely wonderful all the time. Nothing worries us and nothing can make us fall. Anything we may not like so much about the other person disappears in the blinding light of our excitement, and all we want is to be with the other person.
But this phase comes to an end at some point and leads to a more stable and realistic partnership. During this phase, we really begin to adjust to the relationship and realize that our partner is not perfect. Like everyone else, he too has his weaknesses.
How do arguments start?
In addition to the fact that we are different individuals and always disagree, external factors such as family, friends, work and money also come into play. Of course, living together can itself be a source of tension in a relationship.
To quarrel occasionally is normal and necessary. It gives us the opportunity to express our feelings and helps move the relationship forward. If a couple never argues, it is because one of the partners feels insecure and too scared to speak up. But that’s not healthy. On the other hand, it’s a big problem when a couple keeps fighting.
We can use discussions and arguments to improve our relationship. But we need to know how to survive an argument with the partner by making agreements and finding common ground. Now let’s look at some strategies that can help with this.
“If you exercise patience in a moment of anger, you can escape a hundred days of grief.”
How we survive an argument with our partner
Identify the problem and how we feel about it
The conflict is usually not so much about the other person as something that is going on within us. Something happened that makes us feel bad and we need to “let off steam” on someone. This someone is usually our partner. Before we let that happen, let’s practice a little self-reflection and find out why we feel the way you do.
We need to know how to express our feelings and emotions
Once we’ve figured out why we feel a certain way, we need to take care of expressing our feelings. Let’s replace allegations with personal statements. For example, instead of saying, “I can’t believe you did this,” we could say, “I get frustrated when you do this.”
People react much better when they are not blamed or accused of things. So if we explain how you think about something, it will help them understand us, empathize with us and find a positive solution to the conflict.
Let’s not get carried away by anger and let’s never lose respect
When we are in pain or going through a difficult time, our emotions can overwhelm us. These are the times when our emotions can get the better of us, especially if we don’t use self-control strategies. They then make us insensitive and could lead to us taking problems out on our loved one and hurting them. But that will only make things worse.
In all fairness, it’s best to just go for a walk, sing, dance, exercise, or do something that relaxes us. Then we can come down and solve the problem in a calmer state of mind.
Open the dialogue and reach an agreement
Only those who enter into a constructive dialogue with their partner and calmly explain their concerns can come to an agreement. This approach will improve our relationship and help both of us grow.
Leaving aside our pride, developing empathy and assertiveness, and learning how to survive an argument with our partner are essential ingredients in maintaining a happy relationship with the person we love so much.