How Children Suffer From Their Parents’ Quarrels

How children suffer when their parents quarrel

Children are the most vulnerable in the family, and therefore any argument between parents can create a lot of problems and stress for them. Conflict can affect their behavior and their cerebral and cognitive development, and this has been confirmed in studies conducted on the subject.

Arguing between partners is something normal, as there can always be disagreements and inconsistencies that trigger the conflict. The problem is that these clashes are being addressed incorrectly. An important question is whether one should continue to treat one another with respect or rather seek arguments in order to develop it into a great battle.

Big arguments, especially if they happen frequently, leave a scar on the children’s souls and they feel the pain. Discussions that are conducted with respect, on the other hand, can have a positive effect on the children, as they show how one can cope with a difference.

The danger of quarreling in front of the children

Parents who have problems to solve should know that their children can sense the tension between them. It is necessary to provide an adequate environment in which these can be reduced. If possible, arguments should not be carried out in front of the children, as they will feel guilty and frustrated when they realize that there is nothing they can do.

crying child

To avoid these situations, it is necessary to calm down and not act out of affect when something offends us. It is appropriate to address major differences out of the reach of children.

Various studies were carried out at the University of Cambridge (United Kingdom) to determine the influence of family conflicts on children’s development. The aim of these studies was to find out how these affect brain development, especially during the most sensitive periods, and to define how such stress can create a pattern of conflicting behaviors.

The stress caused by the argument between parents

The stress that arises because of a conflict between parents puts the children’s health at risk. There are scientific papers that warn of the harm that can result from the fact that children regularly witness disputes in their family environment.

Constant stress can cause problems in cognitive development and performance. This, in turn, can reduce the ability to pay attention, to solve theoretical and practical problems. In a conflictual home, children are at greater risk of developing such disorders.


As a parent, you should be aware of this. Our disputes can seriously affect our children and even affect their physical and mental health in adulthood. This risk is even more “stupid” when you know that you can protect the children with very simple means: with self-control.

Let us protect the children from our conflicts

While it is true that quarreling between partners is inevitable, it can still be handled in such a way that it does not degenerate into violence. When the conflict becomes a battle, we also speak of aggression. Not only is it advisable to avoid this type of conflict, it is absolutely necessary: ​​for the good of the partnership as well as of the children.

On the other hand, teaching our children how to deal with differences and conflicts in a relationship can be useful and healthy. The children can benefit from having a role model and learning how to resolve conflicts appropriately. Values ​​such as respect and understanding, but also listening and self-assertion  should always be given priority.

In this way, conflicts and arguments, which are inevitable in any relationship, can become an opportunity to lead the children as a good example of how to find solutions through compromise and respect. So, once the argument is out of tune, it is appropriate to ask for forgiveness and try to prevent it from happening again, or it will be perceived as aggression.

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