Forbidden Fruits Are Sweet

Forbidden fruits are sweet

It all started with the story of Adam and Eve in paradise – in the course of human development the “forbidden fruits” have always been sweet.

In the most varied of interpersonal relationships and depending on the different phases of evolution and human development , the prohibition evokes different reactions. Contrary to what you want to achieve with a ban, what is not allowed is attractive to us for some reason.

The ban was not to eat the apple. Then Adam would have eaten the snake if he had been forbidden to do so.

In order to understand the law of attraction in relation to the forbidden, we have to question the psychological development from childhood and only then develop efficient strategies so that the forbidden is no longer attractive.

In childhood – curiosity

Since childhood our curiosity has been responsible for us discovering the world, taking an interest in what surrounds us and trying new things. This is undoubtedly part of the human learning process that has its origins in childhood.

Child paints foot

You could say that curiosity is a basic instinct for learning to grow, to mature, and therefore to be able to survive. Therefore, nothing and no one can claim that we didn’t like discovering and trying out new things even as children.

In this developmental phase of our life, a prohibition turns into a strong curiosity to get to know everything that one does not yet know, which is why the forbidden is interesting and something that is difficult to resist.

Instead of bans, alternatives should be offered

During our childhood nothing exists, nor is anything interesting that we do not know.

If we don’t want a child to be in a certain place, then we shouldn’t insist that they listen to us, but offer them alternatives to what we want them to do. Thus we direct his attention and curiosity to something that seems less of a problem.

In adulthood – a matter of self-affirmation

As we grow up, we need self-affirmation as adolescents, but at the same time we get to know ourselves better. For this reason, it is important in adolescence to isolate yourself from your parents, to develop your own ideas and to go your own way.

During this time, the character matures and the child’s personality changes, which is why the young person needs his own freedom and has to make his own decisions in order to be able to clearly differentiate himself from his parents.

In this phase of development, the forbidden is one more reason to no longer adhere to the rules that have been known since childhood, since they are no longer of any use. Therefore , it seems more attractive in adolescence to ignore what is permitted or what is the same, so that we can differentiate ourselves and see ourselves as someone else and as an individual.

Instead of bans, compromises should be found

If we want a young person not to do something, it would be appropriate to show and explain to him the reasons and values ​​of these wrong options of action. We should always show him that we respect his individuality as a person, his opinion and freedom of choice. Because all too often adolescents have to make their own mistakes in order to learn from them.

In this case , we could try to find a compromise based on both views so that the decision is profitable for both the adult and the adolescent.

Thoughtful woman

And we should always remember that a young person has many opportunities to get what he wants, no matter how much we forbid him from it, which is why it is always appropriate to enter into a bad compromise rather than a conflict that ends in physical and emotional rejection.

Be an adult – be free!

Adulthood is the phase of life of freedom, maturity, responsibility and obligations. In this stage the adult freely decides about his life, becomes independent of his parents and makes personal decisions that smooth his life path.

In this time and also in the future nobody has the right to make decisions for us, because only the adult himself can do that. In this way, he gains respect for his fellow human beings.

At this stage the prohibition is a kind of rejection of the person who is pronouncing it. The forbidden is undoubtedly attractive because we try to show the world that we alone are masters of our own lives and that no one can take our decisions into their own hands.

Instead of prohibitions, one should treat one another with respect

Every adult has the right to decide about his or her life, even if he is wrong. Because of this, others should respect his decision. While they can express their views regarding this decision, they should do so without prohibition, conviction, threats, or accusation.

The ban – an attractive option

A ban triggers many feelings, behaviors or reactions to the contrary of what one actually wants to achieve with it. It is obvious that we have to learn to express ourselves in a different way and to respect the development process in which a person finds himself.

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