Betrayal And How To Heal Your Wounds

Betrayal and how to heal one's wounds

Betrayal is one of the most painful experiences we can have. It doesn’t matter whether we are betrayed by our partner, friend, or family member. Whenever someone abuses our trust, we leave a wound that takes a long time to heal. In fact, sometimes this wound will never heal. And we all know that the more we trust the person who betrayed us, the bigger the wound will be.

But not every disappointment can be classified as treason. The fact is that we as human beings cannot always meet the expectations of our fellow human beings. There are times when we are not up to the circumstances and disappoint the people we love.

“We are much harder with people who deceive us in small things than with people who deceive others in big things.”

Fran├žois de La Rochefoucauld

But the kind of betrayal that hurts us and leaves its mark is the kind that others consciously do to us. These people know they are wrong but do it anyway – for completely selfish reasons. For example, when someone assures us that they would never want to hurt us, but then intentionally does it anyway.

The different types of betrayal

There is more than one type of betrayal. On the one hand we can betray ourselves, on the other hand we are sometimes betrayed by other people. Most people think that betrayal can only occur in interpersonal relationships, but in fact there are other situations as well.

A man, leaning against a piece of a puzzle, is sitting on the beach and looking out to sea.

All the different types of fraud have two things in common. First, turning away from something that was previously explicitly or implicitly determined by a person. Second, taking advantage of the other person’s trust.

When we betray people, we betray agreements and expectations as well as hopes and promises. We betray people with our words and our actions.

Anyone who has been betrayed knows what bitter disappointment feels like. You feel devalued and fooled. The other person’s thoughts, feelings, and expectations have been completely overlooked. You became a pawn in the other person’s plan. In other words, the other person was just objectifying and using you. That is why betrayal is so painful and can leave such deep marks.

Overcome betrayal

Treason can have toxic consequences, as it often leaves the person betrayed deeply suspicious. The betrayal can have an impact not only on us, but on our entire environment. Dealing with another person’s hypocrisy or duplicity is really difficult, and the wounds of betrayal generally do not heal on their own. Therefore, finding a way to overcome this betrayal is essential. Here are some tips for doing just that:

  • Let’s evaluate the situation. It is important to find out what exactly led to the betrayal. We need to look particularly carefully to see whether or not we have been deliberately betrayed. It’s really relevant to consider the other person’s intentions.
  • Let’s not blame ourselves and be good friends to ourselves. Although the betrayed person is the victim in this situation, they often blame themselves for what happened. She scourges herself by telling herself over and over how trusting and stupid she would have been. But, if we are that person, we should never take responsibility for the actions of others.
  • We should accept what happened. Of course, we can also try to deny what happened. But that won’t get us anywhere. The best thing is to accept what happened and see if there is a solution to the situation or not.
  • We should give ourselves time. Treason can drain us emotionally. It is good to take some time to get over the initial shock and get a clearer look at what is happening.
  • Let’s find a balance. Anyone can make mistakes. We should never forget that. As difficult as it is, it is highly recommended that you keep that in mind.
  • Let’s find a way to forgive the other person. Forgiving doesn’t mean we just accept what happened. Nor does it mean pretending that nothing happened. It’s more about getting in tune with ourselves and learning to let the past rest.
A woman releases birds from a cage in a field.

Treason always feels like swallowing a bitter pill. But it doesn’t always have to lead to lifelong trauma. First of all, we should try to regain our inner balance when we have been betrayed. It’s the only way to get back on your feet. Let’s not let another person’s actions affect the rest of our lives.

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