Surely you know one of those couples whose relationship broke up and who tried again more than once. You try, but in the end this second chance for love is unfortunately unsuccessful. This second chance becomes a third, fourth, fifth, etc. until it is no longer worth trying. Maybe trying again isn’t an option after all.
A second chance for love is not a viable alternative for every couple, because every now and then some resentments, unresolved problems and other circumstances play a role that, no matter how hard we try, we are not always able to leave behind to let us.
When you’re ready for a change, a second chance for love can be a good idea.
Often times, giving the relationship another chance is good, and it can even improve. But that only works if both partners have understood how to use the time they were apart sensibly for themselves. However, not every ex-partner does this, which is why the relationship does not work in the same way when you try again.
Why a second chance for love often doesn’t end well
Why doesn’t a second chance for love usually end well? For one simple reason: because couples get back together for the wrong reasons. This can range from needs to the emptiness felt after sharing your life with the other for many years. These can all be signs of emotional addiction – a problem many people suffer from today.
You gave yourself another chance because you felt alone; because you have found that after the separation you cannot live without your significant other; because you failed to deal with the sadness or the end of your partnership … If you get back together with your partner for the wrong reasons, it is impossible for your relationship to have a future.
You miss your partner because you are unable to be alone and that is a negative. The problems that led to the end of your relationship persist, will reappear, and ultimately lead to a toxic relationship in which the two of you are extremely unhappy.
You need your partner because you are scared of loneliness and the feeling of emptiness – a feeling that haunts you when your arms are reaching for someone in bed but no one can be reached; when you are full of bags and no one takes one for you; when you can’t kiss anyone and nobody kisses you.
“To depend on the person you love means in a certain way burying yourself in life, a kind of psychological self-mutilation where self-love, respect for yourself and your being is sacrificed and given away.”
Perhaps you’ve made the big mistake of putting all your happiness in your partner’s hands and now you have to pay the price. You are unable to manage your life on your own and look beyond the relationship. You believe that without this person your life has no future and there is no hope for you to continue on your path. You don’t know the feeling of being happy on your own and you have to be forced to spend time with yourself.
If you enjoy the time without a partner by your side, you get the opportunity to see your partnership from a different perspective. That way you can find out if you did the right thing, if the partnership is worth giving it a second chance, or if the breakup was best for both parties.
There is no better half
Couples who give their love a second chance and for whom it works have understood how to enjoy the time without their partner. They saw it as a way to think, to see everything from a different angle, and to think well about something before making a wrong decision.
These types of couples know that the partners are partners in life, but also individuals, and that their happiness does not depend on the other, but on themselves. Therefore, they are not afraid of being alone. They choose to share their life with another person and do not see the other as an elixir of survival.
But in many relationships there is still the notion that the better half exists and that makes us fearful of being in a partnership. But we shouldn’t be wrong: we need to have a partner, not to fall in love. These are two completely different things that make us think that we are in love every now and then when we really just want someone by our side.
“Have you ever mistaken your need for company for love?”
In addition, a second chance for love also depends on the previous problems that led to the breakup. Take infidelity as an example: if a person fails to overcome this terrible disappointment, it would be a sheer loss of time to try again. Without wanting to, he blames his partner for certain things, does not trust him and doubts everything. That would not be positive for either partner.
So before you try again with your partner, it’s important that you resolve your problems. And these are not only about the problems within the partnership, but also about your individual difficulties. Only then can you start your relationship all over again without resentment and knowing that you are independent and not together because you cannot be alone. Only in this way will a second chance for love be crowned with success.
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